


Permanent

by Lacila



Series: Blue Martini [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lance & Shiro Friendship, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, Male Friendship, trigger warning: blood, trigger warning: scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9916556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacila/pseuds/Lacila
Summary: “Lance. Where did those scars come from?” A commanding voice.At this point, Lance should know he’s screwed. He lies anyways.In which our boy Lance saved the entire team without anyone realizing it, and the truth comes out.Final Chapter: Blue is the color of the calm after the storm.





	1. Shiro

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I lowkey got this idea from http://dramatic-mechanic-fanatic.tumblr.com/ but I changed it a lot. And added more. Whoops. So, sorry if you were expecting an exact recreation of it? I also may start a series of Langsty-type fics, inspired by some other tumblrs. I’ll be sure to credit them when I write it though!!! First voltron fic. Wish me good luck.

Lance knows when he had gotten those scars. He remembers every second of it, even if he doesn’t want to. When he stands up from his bed, ready to start the day, the memories flash through his mind, running a hundred miles per hour. His body shakes violently, convulsing in ways it shouldn’t. Beads of sweat run down his forehead, and it takes all the power in Lance’s body to steady himself. He props himself up on his bed, vision flickering in and out of reality and his memories. Lance takes a second, and _breathes_. The breaths are deep and calming. In eight, out eight. Rinse and repeat. He looks around the room, grounding himself. He remembers all the times where his mama would ground him when things got bad. Maybe it was after a long day where his parents were arguing about finances, or when Lance would get hurt from playing too roughly, but his mama’s warm embrace was always welcomed, and the soothing words were sweet like honey. Her fingers combed through his hair, and even though his mama was tired from working she always stayed for her hijo. Finally, after a couple minutes of calming himself, he goes out to go eat breakfast. What happened....it only happened a week ago. And nobody remembers. Or at the least, they couldn’t. They woke up, spared from the memories, spared from the thoughts. Of course, Lance wasn’t. He’d have to remember. He’d have to remember a lot of things for them. Like making sure that the crystals are in working order. Checking the airlocks for any malfunctions. Keeping patrol so that no rogue robots infiltrate the ship again. Maintaining the healing pods. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s him finally being cautious like he should’ve been. _Should’ve been_. Lance shoves the thought away before it’s all he can think about.

  
He finds himself in the entryway of the dining area. The others are laughing, blabbering on about some new recipe. Hunk prides himself on being able to create delectable dishes out of...well, really, god knows what. Aliens are weird, and Lance couldn’t really wrap his head around those complicated recipes. Thankfully Hunk is smart enough to find substitutes for earth equivalents, the smart guy. _That’s my best friend for you...He’s not only good at building things, he can cook like nobody else in the galaxy._ Lance, for a split second, wonders if anybody felt like that towards him.

  
“Hmm, do you think that this would make good throwing material? Maybe not as good as space spores but…” Pidge is grinning, grinning like _nothing_ happened. Lance is sure, no, certain that they know something happened. For the entire week, they’ve been trying to find out. Check the cameras, the ship, the lions for a sign of what happened that day. Asked thousands of questions. It left them frustrated and confused. Lance pretended not to know.

  
“Oh no...Oooh no. Pidge, don’t! You have no idea how long it took me to make that! How about you put that down and-” The first piece of food has been thrown. It reminds Lance of the first day they spent at Allura’s castle ship, and the food goo fight. He laughs, a little shaken from the previous moment during the morning, but laughs, letting go. He feels free, for the first time in the week.

  
“Sorry Hunk, but food fight is calling my name.” Lance’s grin is practically feral, and he jumps to grab some food and chucks it like nobody’s business. And it sails right to Keith’s face. As the food slides off his face, his glare could kill.

  
“Okay, that’s it! Food me.” Shiro nods in serious understanding, and suddenly Keith’s arm is fully loaded with jellies, alien fruits, and some weird pancake thing. He launches the first full blown attack. His eyes glint with fiery determination. Pidge is caught in the debris of the flying food, before sniggering, and throwing back a huge chunk of jelly. Allura sighs and clutches a plate to protect herself while Coran can only laugh. Hunk moans in the background, muttering about ‘selling his soul’ for those ingredients. Lance thrives in the warm, happy environment. The team has been so worried about that gap in their memory. But seeing them like this, seeing them happy...That’s all Lance could ask for. After the food fight, everyone tries to clean up. But Lance sets out to check up on the crystals first. Very important. He hadn’t gotten the chance to check in on things with the food fight. _How could have I forgotten? You idiot, you’re supposed to make sure everyone’s safe._

  
Shiro looks at Lance’s retreating back, leaving the dining area and going off...somewhere. He frowns, but only slightly. Shiro knows that Lance hasn’t been the same since the memory gap. He just wishes he remembered. He just wanted to know, wanted to know what happened to make Lance act this way, what happened to make him seem more...cautious. _Yes,_ Shiro thinks, _it’s good to be on guard and aware of the ship's condition but..._ he wants nothing more to know why. Shiro could’ve helped Lance, or talked to him, or...or done anything. He’s a leader. He should know but he doesn’t. There was something majorly wrong and he needed to find out why.

  
Lance paces around the pods, checking everything. He makes sure to not step inside any of them, aware of what happened last time. He sees a flash of black out of the corner of his eye, and his heart races. Lance’s entire body tenses, with his face twisted with panic. It lasts for only a second, before he composes himself. He checks the area, and relaxes. _Nothing...the pods are working okay, and nothing else is here...good. No robots._

  
Shiro tries to follow Lance, and finds him checking the pods. Lance’s face is fully focused, checking his surroundings and cleaning each and every one. He doesn’t notice him, until Shiro accidently moves his arm one inch too far. He sees the panic, the panic that shouldn’t be on a boy that young, and the way his muscles tighten. This...this obviously isn’t good. Shiro leaves quickly, deciding not to startle him any further. He hadn’t meant to see him like this. So he leaves. Every action seems to make Shiro more and more worried. It’s been like this for a week, and Shiro blames himself for not trying to help earlier. At least, he hopes he’s helping. Allura calls for him, asking if he can help her contact old allies on planets from earlier travels. He’ll need to talk to Lance later.

  
Hours later, and Lance sighs. He takes off his shirt, tracing the scars. Before they healed he spent every night in the healing pods, trying to heal himself as much as he could before he needed sleep and the sun rose up. One or two days of that did it, and the only thing left unable to heal were the scars. Healing pods could only do so much, couldn’t they? It’s a miracle they could do this much at all. It was hard to hide the pain for even 2 days, and Lance scoffs. _I shouldn’t even be complaining. Everyone’s safe, and they aren’t hurt. That’s all._ His hands trace a particularly dark, long scar. It’s right across his stomach. Flashes fill his vision, and he stumbles. Phantom pain was...a bitch, to say the least. He heaves a heavy sigh, his heart weighing him down. He should probably head into the shower now, instead of staring at all of his scars. But he can’t help it. He looks, everyday, at the reminders of what happened, what he did, what he saved. It reminds him that it even happened in the first place, and not some scarily realistic dream. His clammy hands continue on, feeling an area of shallower cuts, but cluster closely together. _That was just a warm up of what was to come._ He shudders. But he doesn’t regret it. He doesn’t regret sacrificing himself, while for only a couple hours, for the safety of his teammates. He’s glad they don’t remember the part where Lance gives himself up so they can run. He’s so glad. So glad. They’ll never forgive themselves for it, and he just wants them to be happy. They’ll forget about the gap in memory eventually. Like nothing ever happened. To them, at least. He shudders, and his elbow hits the door’s lock.

  
He stares at Lance’s door. Should he open it? Knock? Maybe talk first. What would he say? Shiro was at a loss. How was one supposed to bring up an issue like this? _Hey, so I saw you checking up on the pods and I saw you panic a bit. Mind telling me why?_ Shiro wasn’t much of a diplomat. Sure, he had experience and tried to keep the team calm but...Allura was the diplomatic one, not him. He could talk about someone’s feelings and grief, he’s been through plenty himself to understand. But it always came naturally. The other person needed to talk, or wanted to talk to him. Not him, wanting to talk to them instead. It was confusing, and Shiro decided to start out with knocking. But the door opens automatically, on accident, he thinks, and reveals a shirtless, _scarred_ , Lance. He can’t help the shocked gasp that escapes his mouth.

  
Lance whips his head around, to see someone, to see Shiro at his door, hand raised to knock. His eyes are wide as he stares at the amount of scars that litter Lance’s body. Lance slams the door shut, screwing his eyes closed, his breath quickening. _He wasn’t supposed to see, he wasn’t supposed to see, he wasn’t…_ Lance throws on a shirt, and opens the door, lazy grin on his face. It’s strained.

  
“Lance. Where did those scars come from?” A commanding voice. At this point, Lance should know he’s screwed. He lies anyways.

  
“It’s...uh, from when Hunk and I went and got the Yellow lion. Ya know, it was totally galra infested and it did try to kill us. Totally epic battle though. You should’ve seen it.”

  
Shiro’s eyes look piercing, and his mouth curved downwards. He doesn’t believe him for a second. So he hugs Lance tightly. He knows that it’s probably uncomfortable, with his arm and all, but he couldn’t help it. His teammate was suffering, and he didn’t know what to do about it. All he could do was hug him. Tears well up in Lance’s eyes, threatening to spill over. A choked sob leaves his lips, and hugs back even tighter than Shiro. He’s wanted to talk to anyone for so long, someone who noticed something was wrong, who was worried about him. _Don’t be selfish. He’s doing it because you’re becoming weaker, being haunted by things in the past._ This time, Lance can’t stop the thought before he speaks.

  
“I...you’re...probably pitying me right now, huh? Or thinking that I can’t...can’t fight because I have so many scars, so many failed battles. M’ Sorry…” He mumbles his words, mostly being muffled by Shiro’s hug. Shiro backs up, and puts his hands on both of Lance’s shoulders. His grip firm and reassuring.

  
“No. _I’m_ the one who should be sorry. I didn’t notice. I should’ve as Voltron’s leader, as _your_ leader.” His words are shaky, but he stares hard into Lance’s blue, dull eyes. They should’ve been brighter. It’s scary to see how lifeless they could be when he doesn’t have his guard up. Lance hiccups, more tears bubbling over. He’s grateful that no one else is out in the hallway, because this is most definitely private. He guides Lance to his bed, and closes the door behind them.

  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Lance looks at Shiro with eyes filled with worry, fear, and...disappointment? Shiro couldn’t pick every emotion out, but Lance stiffens. He looks hesitant, and his entire body practically screamed ‘uncomfortable’. But he couldn’t stop now, he needed to know what Lance has been going through the past week.

  
“I don’t...think. That you all remember what happened last week. I...I’m scared. Shiro, I’m scared of talking about it. About what you’ll think. It’s stupid. Silly. Irrelevant.” Lance’s words send even more worry through Shiro. If the blue paladin couldn’t talk about his problems with his team, his friends, and his fellow paladins...there was wrong. Very wrong.

  
“I won’t judge you, Lance. You’re not just a warrior, you’re our friend, our teammate, and our...our family. You can trust me.” He can only hope his words resonate with Lance. He sees Lance take a shaky deep breath, and he spoke.

  
“We were...all in pretty bad shape. Too many galra fleets. Not enough backup. There was a distress call, and there was some refugees in need of help. It was a mining planet. All of you were fighting, trying to save the refugees but the fleets kept using that against you. You...you were hit a lot.” Lance sucks in another breath, his hands clutching the bed sheets. Shiro looks over in concern, before Lance waves him off. “A general...he caught me first. He asked me if we could make a deal. I give myself up and you all escape safely, along with the mining planet being spared. I...couldn’t refuse.You were all caught, he told me. The next few hours were…” Shiro squeezes his shoulder, and Lance smiles. A sad smile. But a smile. “After he was done, he laughed as said he had got all the information he needed. He wanted me to rot, so he kicked me out of the ship. I was saved by the refugees.” Outwardly, Shiro was warm, comforting, and understanding. Inwardly, he was angry. Angry at himself, for not noticing. For not being strong enough to save Lance. For forgetting. But was also angry at the general. This _general_ who dared to touch his team. His team who was practically family. He wouldn’t let it slide, no, he would get back at him. He was fueled with rage. But he’d deal with that later. Right now, he had a job to do.

  
“Lance. I’m sorry we couldn’t help you. I’m sorry we forgot. What you did was very brave of you...You were noble. Thank you. So much. I can’t imagine what he did to you.” Yes, he couldn’t imagine. The scars told Shiro too much anyways, and if he continued thinking about it he would be an unstoppable force of rage. Lance didn’t need rage right now though. He needed a friend.

  
“I…” Lance choked up, his vocal cords refusing to work with him. So he just cried, hugging Shiro like he was his lifeline. He sobbed, at the feelings of pain he felt when he thought about it too much. But he cried in relief too. He could finally speak, he could finally talk about it when it got too hard. The scars may be permanent, but that doesn’t mean his team won’t help him through it. His team would change and transform those scars and the depressing thoughts. He wouldn’t be paranoid or depressed all the time. No, that was temporary. And the happy memories with his team would be that much more permanent.


	2. Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro promises to not tell the rest of the team without Lance’s consent. 
> 
> “Did you expect me not to notice?” There’s hints of barely contained anger.
> 
> Secrets can’t stay secrets forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so ya’ll wanted more. I am here to PROVIDE. I’d like to thank of all you for the support and positive feedback you’ve given to me <3 It hasn’t even been a full day (at the time I’m writing this chapter, anyways) since I’ve posted it!!!

Lance wakes up peacefully for the first time in the week. The events of last night were something that Lance would never forget. While he made Shiro _promise_ not to tell the team without his consent, that didn’t mean Shiro couldn’t support him silently. Throughout the day, Shiro sends Lance as many comforting smiles as he possibly could. At breakfast, Shiro placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder, smiling softly and walked through the entrance. Lance practically _beamed_ , it had been far too long since someone honestly and earnestly supported him. And now he gained someone he could talk to, so he truly wasn’t alone anymore. _But there’s also the rest of the team. Shouldn’t I tell them?_ It was a hard choice, and he didn’t feel comfortable enough yet to tell anyone. It was the first day after Shiro finding out, and the next time Lance told someone he’d be sure to be less...whiny. He’s hoping he’ll have enough time to recover from last night before someone else knows. _Who would I even tell next? Hunk? He is my best friend…_ Lunch was going to be held in 1 hour, so Lance could probably prepare himself and tell Hunk after lunch. And he already made his daily rounds of the day, so he could relax...for now. Shiro was a great source of comfort but Lance still couldn’t force himself to feel entirely safe in the castle ship. Not yet. For the next hour, Lance plans to prepare himself for the probably long talk he’s going to have with Hunk. But he can trust him, Hunk is crazy genius and his empathy wasn’t just him being polite. Hunk knew his best friend, and knew him well. _So he should be the easiest one to tell, right?_ But it didn’t matter who Lance would tell first, he still hugged himself and sighed. It was going to be hard. After an entire week of just...plain lying, it was going to be hard anyways. He sat down on his bed, staring off into nothing. His entire body felt cold, and closed his eyes, face frowning. One out of six people knew. And telling the rest was probably going to be just as emotionally taxing. And when they see his scars... _Who knew the blue paladin was so fragile?_ Voices. Voices are cramming themselves into his head. Lance’s eyes are wide open now, and he’s sitting straight up in his bed. Beads of sweat roll down his forehead, nails digging into his arms. _Calm down, calm down, calm down..._ The room starts twisting, looking less white and blue and more...purple. He can’t breathe. He can’t breathe. The voices are getting louder. _I could spend hours doing this. Voltron can’t be that strong if all their paladins are like this. I bet I’d make a better paladin. Heh._ Lance claws at his arms, drawing some blood. He’s not there, he’s at the castle ship, he’s okay. 30 minutes until lunch. Lance should clean up and put on some bandages. _I can’t believe I let myself get occupied with the past. Again. Stupid_. He wants to talk to Shiro again. Ask how he’s dealt with memories. Lance needs to remind himself that he’s not the only one with scars on this castle ship. Another cold shudder runs through his body. He needed to calm down. He drags his feet to lunch, heart heavier than when he started thinking. Shiro catches him before he enters into the dining room, and pulls him to the side.

“Lance...are you alright?” He looked hesitant to ask the question, but his eyes were still determined to find out. After last night, Shiro was still worried about Lance and he couldn’t let anything slide. Not anymore, not unless Lance asked for some space. He was determined but he wouldn’t push any boundaries.

“I’m fine. Just a little shaken.” Lance’s smile is crooked, but his eyes are dulled. His entire body sags downwards, and his arms seemed...less expressive than usual. Lance waves his arms around a lot, or uses his hands to add emphasis to what he’s saying. And he didn’t use them at all throughout the conversation.

“If you’re struggling with...memories, I’m here for you. Come to my room after lunch and I can share some useful tips.” Lance couldn’t help but grin in thanks. He’s more than happy to see that he really could talk to Shiro without any trouble.

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that.” Lance replies, his tone a little lighter than before. His eyes are bright, and his body had a little bit more energy to it. They didn’t notice someone listening in on the conversation. Both Shiro and Lance walk in together, and it seems like everyone was a lot less excited than last time. That didn’t mean they weren’t joking around like usual.

“Hunk, I’m telling you, we could totally make our own videogames in space. I can code, and you could build the next high-tech console or whatever!” Pidge, of course, was missing some of the earth videogames they used to have. Hunk, although he did play videogames and was an amazing engineer, wasn’t sure if he could pull it off.

“Aren’t most video games on CDs or cartridges? Does anything in space even have something close to that?” Hunk looked miserable, knowing full well that Pidge wouldn’t let the topic drop until they’ve tried everything and anything to play some videogames. They were still teenagers after all, not just the defenders of the universe. And he was missing the videogames on earth too. Lance couldn’t help but join in.

“Soo, video games, huh? What type of game are you gonna make first? An FPS? Because I’d crush you all easily in that. I _am_ an amazing shot.” Lance smirks, leaning against the entrance of the dining room, and full of confidence that felt a little fake. Shiro glances over at Lance, but doesn’t say anything.

“Please, Lance! Maybe you’re _hardly_ a better shot than me in real life, but in FPS games I rule.” Pidge has got that shit-eating grin on their face, and flexing their fingers. Lance’s smile falters for a second, but quickly composed himself. Pidge kept going. “I’m sure I could school all of you.” They snickered and made horrible sounding gun noises that sounded like ‘pchoo’.

“ _I’m_ the sharpshooter. Either way, I’m sure I could beat everyone in this room, including Keith.” Lance adds a little ‘hmph’ at the end staring right at Keith to make his point. There’s nothing like riling up Keith to make sure nobody suspects anything. Keith glares at him before getting up from his chair, food forgotten.

“Yeah, you think so? Once Pidge and Hunk makes that game, I’ll show you.” Keith is now in front of Lance’s face, arms crossed and eyes glinting with competition...and something else. Lance couldn’t tell what. But he had to have a good comeback to that, so Lance jabs Keith’s shoulder with a pointed finger and leers at him.

“Oh Keith, you-” He pauses, and grips his arm a little too tight. He hisses in pain, before trying to continue. “You’re so funny, thinking you can beat me in FPS games. They used to call me the Tailor you know. Because of how I thread the needle.” Pidge snorts, before muttering ‘nobody even knows what you mean by that.’ Keith huffs irritatedly and leaves the dining room with everyone staring at him. Lunch continues on like normal, and before they know it, Pidge and Hunk promised to try their best to make any videogames. Allura and Coran weren’t there today, probably due to more work with keeping up with older allies. So that meant Shiro only observed the conversation, and couldn’t help but notice the way Lance winced. He hoped he could talk to Lance soon. After Lance left the lunchroom, he had already completely forgotten to talk to Hunk. He heaved a sigh. _I could always talk to him later today or just wait. I have time._ Keith catches his arm in the hallway. Lance winces again, and tries to pull away.

“What’s your deal? Still mad?” His cocky grin seemed to fall apart when Keith speaks his next words.

“Did you expect me not to notice?” There’s hints of barely contained anger. Lance tries to wrestle his arm away, but only creates more pain for himself. Keith doesn’t let go.

“What are you talking about, Keith?” Keith’s eyes look betrayed, and even angrier than before. Lance can’t stare at him any longer, and looks away. “...I’m not ready for this.” And Keith lets go. But Lance doesn’t run away. Keith takes this as an invitation to continue.

“What happened?” Lance chooses his next words very carefully. “Let’s just go to my room first. I don’t want to broadcast this to everyone in the castle,” He gives a weak laugh, but it doesn’t lighten the mood at all. Keith follows him into his room, and leans on the wall. Lance closes the door behind them, and takes a seat on his bed.

“Lance, seriously. I know we haven’t been...getting along, but that doesn’t mean I’m just some flying robot made for flying. I’m your teammate.” _Funny_ , Lance can’t help but think, _that’s exactly what I called you once_.

"I heard you and Shiro talking in the hallway before entering the dining room. You aren’t very discreet, you know.” Lance looks at Keith like he just said the stupidest thing in the world.

“And you aren’t that delicate with your words either.”

“Crap, that’s...that’s not what I meant. I just heard your conversation. And I wanted to know what was going on. Something about...memories?” Lance tenses. He feels his heart go faster, feel his body go cold, and his mind whirring. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t, and he starts to hyperventilate, body hunched over. Everything blurs, and Lance claws at his arms again, giving Keith a full view of the bandages from that morning. Keith rushes over, hesitating to place his hand on Lance’s back but does anyways. He starts rubbing circles on Lance’s back to calm him down. “Oh fuck, uhm, breathe with me. In, out. In, out. Yeah, like that. You’re good. You’re good.” And sweet, sweet air fills Lance’s lungs once again. He’s shaking, eyes watery. His hands tremble, gripping the bed sheets until his knuckles go white. _It’s better than ripping apart my bandages._ Thankfully, he hadn’t been able to do that before Keith jumped in. “Shit, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t think that would happen. I’m not...I’m not good with this type of thing.” Keith mumbles, and stares off somewhere else in the room, ashamed. He couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“...It’s ‘kay. You didn’t mean it. I’m j-just being oversensitive.” He always got oversensitive after riling up Keith. Usually he could handle it. But he hadn’t even gotten a day to recover from spilling everything to Shiro. And this morning the memories were so much more vivid than they were yesterday. _Good and bad days, good and bad days, everyone has them...I hope._ He brings the blanket around him, and curls up tightly. “My arms are like this because this also happened in the morning. I...was reminded. Of some things.” Keith looked at Lance, silently urging him to go on. “Do you remember anything from last week?” Keith’s eyes widened, but continued to rub small circles on Lance’s back, trying to mask his surprise.

“No. Did something happen?” The question hung in the air for a few moments, before Lance speaks, barely above a whisper. “Yeah. You were all hurt. Badly.” For a second, Lance looked like his was in his own little world, thinking about what had happened in the past. “And I had to do something to save you all. Something. Anything…” He trails off. Keith squeezes his shoulder, pausing the comforting motions for a second. He tries his best to give Lance a smile. “They took me. You were all captured. Hurt. They threatened you.” His eyes go misty. He grips the blanket around him even tighter. “It was only for a few hours that they toyed around with me. But I’m okay now. I talked with Shiro yesterday. I’m okay.” Keith wasn’t touchy feely, not at all. But sometimes it was necessary. He gave one quick hug. Just one.

“You’re not being oversensitive. The galra can be...vicious, and Shiro deals with this stuff all the time. He’s talked to me about it before. And if you want, I’ll beat those bastards to the ground.” Lance can only laugh. He couldn’t believe Keith just said that. Like the general was just some asshole who said the wrong thing to the wrong person. Or a disruptive customer.

“You…” Keith frowns. “You’re _insane_ , you know that?” He cracks a stupid grin, but he can already feel himself feel lighter. Keith blushes and glares at him.

“Only because you’re the one who drives me insane.” Lance just laughs harder, nearly laughing to tears. It was weird and stupid to be snickering at what he said but he couldn’t stop. He feels the stress melting away. Just like Shiro had.

“Thanks...I know we’re rivals and like, warriors of the universe, but it’s still nice to know you’re not just a robot. And for... helping me with the earlier incident.” Keith gives another shoulder squeeze. _Seems to be a common theme, huh?_ Lance mentally comments, before going on.

“Really though. Your stupid comments made me laugh, and that did a lot. So, thanks Keith.”

“I wasn’t joking about the beating part. I’m ready to slice up some assholes.”

“Oh my god, Keith.” Lance couldn’t believe it. Keith could be insufferable sometimes but sometimes he was...something else. He shoved Keith lightly, and snorted. Keith wasn’t joking. He’d make them pay for what they did. Lance didn’t deserve to be tortured, to be captured, or to be in that mess at all. If Keith had done his job better then Lance wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences. He swore to himself to get them. He’d get the details of who hurt him, and what exactly happened later. He’d definitely talk to Shiro when he could, and ask what he knows. Since Keith wasn’t a people person, he knew that Shiro probably knew more than Keith did. He was just glad that he could get Lance to laugh and act like his normal self. Space changed him in more ways than it should’ve. But damn it if it doesn’t make Keith want to fight harder and want to win more. Because this type of thing changes a person permanently. He knew because of people like Shiro, who went through hell and never came back out the same. Keith would do as much as he could to make them pay, and make the pain a little less permanent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Lance is gonna wake up happy! Me @ me: make him get bad flashbacks. Anyways, this chapter was mainly hurt/comfort once more, but revenge my friends is on it’s way, I SWEAR. The more I write, the more ideas I get...thanks for supporting my fanfiction!!! Once revenge is in motion, so will the protectiveness. ;) Thanks again!


	3. Pidge and Hunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are hellbent on getting back at the general.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I was like “Who’s up next?” but then I was like “what about the fucking plot?? Because you have one now.” Man, do I love writing for this story. Sorry if it’s shorter than the other two chapters!

Keith is fuming. He stayed with Lance for a little bit longer before leaving. It wasn’t even dinnertime yet and he was ready to take out his frustration on some training bots. After hearing about what happened with Lance he thinks it’s time to take action. He stomped out in the hallway, heading to Shiro’s room. He knocks on Shiro’s door loudly. He growled under his breath. How could someone do that? Just hurt somebody for kicks, or torture them in return for their team’s safety? Keith knew that there wasn’t good people in the world, but he hadn’t expected them to get to his teammates. Not after Shiro. He seemed so put together and so commanding it’s like nothing happened at all. But Keith knew better than that, after long nights of visions and shaky voices. So why did this come as a shock? 

“H-hold on, let me get the door.” Keith is greeted by a disheveled Shiro. “...Keith? How are you?” Keith walks into the room, and sits on the bed. He looked troubled, and his face had a dark expression on it. Shiro knew what the upcoming conversation was going to be about without Keith needing to say a word.

“How much do you know about what happened last week? With Lance?” Keith looks at Shiro, trying to keep his voice leveled. Shiro spares only a single second before smiling knowingly.

“So he told you? I’m kind of surprised he talked to you first. Maybe that’s why he didn’t go to my room right after lunch.” He considers the thought of Keith talking to Lance before looking over to Keith again. His face is concerned, eyebrows drawn together in concentration. “What’s wrong?” 

“He didn’t tell me everything, I didn’t want to push for details. What did he tell you?” Keith restrains himself from demanding answers. He’s frustrated. He wants to know what happened to help Lance and not just sit by idly. If Lance got hurt because of some asshole that wouldn’t slide. Not at all.

“There was a galra general. Apparently we took a lot of hits before getting taken down. ...Lance didn’t specify too much. You’re planning on trying to get back at them, aren’t you?” Shiro’s question was more of a statement. He didn’t leave any room for objections.

“Yeah. Don’t try to stop me.” He looks at Shiro full of confidence. He wasn’t going to back down even if Shiro didn’t approve. Instead Shiro smiles.

“Good, because nobody touches  _ my team  _ without facing the consequences.”

Lance laid down on his bed. His blanket was wet from some tears, but it didn’t matter. It hasn’t even been a day and now both Shiro and Keith knew. Then he snaps up from bed.  _ Oh my god. I forgot to tell Hunk.  _ He facepalms before groaning.  _ I got so caught up with Keith I didn’t even realize how late it was getting. I think I missed dinner.  _ He gets up from bed to change out of his tear stained shirt. He was determined to tell the rest of the team about what happened. Lance was strong, he could tell them. Right? Right. Maybe years later he’d joke about how hot the scars made him but for now he could settle for just letting the team know. Recovery would take a long time. If his rival, Keith, and his idol, Shiro, could understand and comfort him then telling his Garrison crew should be even easier. They were both family to him.  _ My family in space... _ He quickly dismisses the thought about his family on earth and slaps his face.  _ Okay, you got this. Just ask Hunk and Pidge to go to your room. No biggie. They’ll get it.  _ He opens his door, and marches out into the hallway. Inhale, exhale. Lance has totally got this. It’s not like the two other times he’s talked about it were totally on accident and not at all his choice. He can totally tell them.  _ You could ruin your friendship with them.  _ Lance slaps his face again. Nope. He’s not going to focus on that. He’s not going to focus on the dozens of scars littering his body, the way his skin looks darker because of it. He’s not going to think about the blade on his stomach, and the cuffs cutting into his wrist. Not at all. By now, Lance has stopped walking in the hallway, and grips his shoulder.  _ You got this, Lance. You’re the ladies man, you’re the guy who makes people laugh, you’re... _ Hunk and Pidge are walking along the hallway, still chattering about how they’d make the videogame.

“Well, I’m sure we could make a new type of CD for a console. I wonder if coding language stays the same in space? Do they even use JavaScript? Or C++? Do they program their own language?” Pidge wonders in bemusement about what types of games have been made in space. “Does space have their own version of pong?” They laugh, the thought totally ridiculous to them. They kept walking down the hallway, right where Lance was.

“I mean, probably! They have tons of space versions for food, so they probably-Lance?” Hunk’s question causes Pidge to look over at Lance, who looked a little pale. “You okay buddy?” Lance squeaks a little bit.

“U-uh, yeah. Could, uh, could both of you go to my room for a sec?” He barely stutters out his question, and Hunk and Pidge share a look before nodding. “Right, o-okay.” Lance leads them to his room and makes sure the door is shut. Both Pidge and Hunk sat at his bed, and Lance joins them.  “Uhm…” Lance fiddles with his fingers and shudders. He was prepared for this. One hundred percent. He’s as cool as ice. No problems here. 

“You’re shaking. Here,” Hunk leans over and grabs Lance’s still tear-stained blanket. If Hunk saw it, he didn’t say a word about it. He drapes it around Lance’s body. “Are you good now?” Hunk was so nice. He allowed Lance to take his time. 

“Y-yeah.” He gulps a breath of fresh air, and looks at them. “Uhm, so at this point I should probably just start saying this from the beginning. Do you guys remember anything from last week?” Pidge’s eyes immediately narrow, and looks at Lance expectantly. They take notice of any small details about Lance they possibly could in that moment. The way his back was hunched over on the bed and how his fingers kept moving. His hair was ruffled a little bit, and his eyes looked glassy. He must’ve been crying. There was a small tinge of red. Hunk doesn’t look too shocked, and shakes his head no. He puts his hand over Lances, and the tension in Lance’s body dissipates. “It was pretty bad. It was on a mining planet infested with galran ships.  Everyone wasn’t doing good, and I was...taken.” Hunk holds Lance’s hand as he continues. He smiles encouragingly. “There was this general. His name was...Gibra. He needed to take out his frustrations on something. He didn’t care too much about the empire. So he...made a deal. He’d let my team go if he could…” His shoulders shook, and the blanket not helping much. Pidge was still watching Lance carefully like a hawk. They were worried about what happened to Lance. If Pidge could hack into the ship that took Lance then they could find out. But something inside of them said that they wouldn’t want to know. They already lost their family to to the galras wrath. Pidge refuses to lose somebody else to their ruthless ways. They’d rather die first than see their family suffer. They almost fall into that deep and depressing spiral of thoughts before snapping back into reality. Right now they needed to focus on Lance. Prevent him from ever getting hurt some  _ shitty  _ general again. Pidge stays attentive and hangs onto every word Lance says. “Do what he wanted. It took hours. Then he actually kicked me out of the ship, laughing as I was falling down from the deck. The refugees were able to catch me before I hit the ground.”

“Lance, I can’t...I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect you. But I know what I can do right now. I can support you. If you ever want to talk about it in-depth, I’ll always be here for you. Remember when we were in the Garrison? I’d always make your favorite food or ramble on about my latest projects to get your mind off things. I can still do that today. You’re my best friend, Lance. I’ll support you in anyway I can.” Hunk’s smile was practically sunshine, and he embraced him with the warmest hug he’s ever felt. Lance wasn’t cold anymore, and the shaking stopped. Hunk let go and his eyes were so full of care that the next words came out without any trepidation.

“God, Hunk...you’re amazing.” Lance’s words of gratitude only caused Hunk to hug him again. Pidge could see the peaceful look on Lance’s face through the hug.

“You know Lance, for someone who I’ve known for so long... I never realized how much going into space would’ve changed you. I should’ve paid more attention. I know that we had a rocky start in the Garrison but...thanks.” Lance unwraps himself from Hunk’s hug, and his face looked so confused. He wondered where Pidge was going with this and why they were saying thanks. Lance didn’t really do much. Pidge rolls their eyes, but it’s a gesture made with affection. “You’re the one who brought me out of my shell, and tried to be friends with me enough though I kept ignoring all your attempts. You tried so hard. I’m happy to be in the same team as you, Lance. And I’ll do anything to preserve that.” Pidge’s eyes are hopeful, and pats Lance on the back lightly. Lance smiles in return, grateful for the action. Maybe they weren’t like Hunk and make Lance feel better instantly, but they could listen. “Thanks for saving our team. And later, if you’re willing to give us any more information...I’d be happy to hunt them down. After all, nobody can stop me from hacking through anything! Seriously, if something like this ever happens again...I’ve got your back. Family sticks together. And anyone who threatens that is not going to survive my wrath.” Lance giggled, honest to god giggled and wrapped his lanky arms around Pidge. He ruffles their hair, and pats their head. “Lance-?! Stop!” He just chuckles in response before letting go.

“Who knew the little gremlin could be so affectionate?!” Pidge shoves Lance and crosses their arms. They’re as red as a tomato, and their glasses are about to fall off their face. They scoff and fix their glasses. 

“Don’t. Touch. The. Hair.” Hunk clamps a hand over Lance’s mouth, barely containing his own giggles. 

“Lance, don’t do it. Pidge is going to kill you. Don’t say a word.” Hunk’s words of caution were ignored, and Lance reaches out to touch Pidge’s hair once more. Pidge could swear Lance was like the big brother of the family.  _ Stupid hair ruffles, stupid asshole brothers!  _ Pidge silently thought that not only was he the big brother, he was the  _ annoying  _ big brother.

“ALRIGHT. THAT’S IT. YOU’RE GOING DOWN!” Pidge let’s out a primal yell and lunges at Lance. He falls to the floor and both of them are rolling around the room now. Hunk laughs nervously and tries to break them up from fighting, quickly getting up from the bed. He puts his hands up in a sign of peace, trying to placate them.

“Okay, okay Pidge, calm down! No need to fight, heheh…” Hunk sighs, before putting his hands down and giving up. “Geez, you two are like quarreling siblings, I swear.” He knew that those two weren’t going to stop fighting until one of them won. “Lance, I’m going to make your favorites. I’ll call you when I’m done. Don’t...don’t kill each other, alright? You’re practically at each other’s throats right now.” Hunk can only sigh again as both Lance and Pidge grunt, trying to see who would give up first. Hunk gets up and leaves, just leaving Pidge and Lance.

“Lance…” Pidge stops trying to fight and gets off Lance. “I need you to tell me what happened exactly. I’m going to need information about what happened so that I can track down the people who did this to you.” Throughout the fight, Lance’s shirt had rode up on him, revealing his stomach which bore the worst scar. The deep scar that Lance looked at the most. The one that he remembered the most. Pidge’s gaze rested on that same exact scar. Their expression looked so hurt..so helpless. Lance vowed that they would never have to experience what he did. Ever. He’d do everything he could before the galra would reach Pidge. “Please Lance. I just want to help.” Lance’s look was casted off to the side and he smiled ruefully.

“Okay. I’ll tell you everything I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The paladins are Angry™ and Ready™ to fight. Who knew that this story would get like...plot? Haha that’s funny. But I needed to end it at some point, and uh-oh the next chapter may or may not be like...the torture in more detail. At first it was implied but then it wasn't.


	4. The Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m actually writing this at school right now. I finished my english essay early and I have 20 min. I’m just way too excited to continue this story. I also finally explored the paladin’s emotions a little more!!!

Pidge was in frozen in place. Their hands are curled in tight fists, and pure anger almost overtaking their body. Then they breathe, and let their analytical side take over. There wasn’t enough time to punch anything other than the people who threatened their family. Rage was useless until it could be used. So, for now, they put their anger aside and consider the facts. Facts which were terrifying. Lance had went into so much detail, everything from the structure of the ship to the the faces he saw. But he refused to talk too much about what the general had actually done to him.  It only makes Pidge wonder about the horrors he experienced. But it wasn’t time for that. They cleared their throat, catching Lance’s attention. “So, let me get this straight. Gidra, this general, doesn’t care the empire, right? And the reason we don’t remember anything is because of some magic” Lance nods, and doesn’t bother to elaborate. “And Gidra also happens to have a metal leg?” He flinches, before nodding once more. Only for a second he feels the weight of the leg on his chest. It was only for a second, but the feeling of dread didn’t leave him. It was like a wave crashing, quick but devastating. 

“I found out with the first kick.” Pidge could slowly feel the rage build up inside them again. They should be able to control their emotions better but...every time Lance talked about what Gidra had done to him Pidge couldn’t bother.  _ It’s unfair. The galra have no right to do this to people. To my teammates. To my family. To Lance.  _ “Pidge...calm down. I can see you clenching your fists.” Pidge’s head snapped up to meet Lance’s gaze. For the first time since the conversation started, Pidge realized how tired Lance looked. His shoulders sagged and his hair was still a mess. His shirt was rumpled, and his skin hasn’t been taken cared of in days. Even with his dark complexion, he still managed to look so pale and fragile. Pidge realized that Lance hadn’t even had dinner yet. Hunk raps on the door lightly, and Pidge opens it up hoping that Hunk was bringing in food. Pidge wouldn’t admit it, but they cared so deeply about everyone on the team, so if Lance didn’t eat anything Pidge would make sure he did. Pidge wasn’t like Shiro, they couldn’t give advice about how to deal with Lance’s problems. They weren’t like Hunk either, who could make everyone feel easy when he entered a room. Pidge wasn’t Keith either, they couldn’t fight their way through life. They weren’t Allura, whose perspective on life was so new and refreshing with years of wisdom behind them. No, Pidge wasn’t like Coran either, whose silly antics and optimistic thinking could dispel any depressing thoughts. Pidge wasn’t the strongest or the kindest, they sure as hell were the smartest with their tech. They would use that to their advantage. Metal legs could easily bend to technology’s will. Pidge was sure of it. They zoned out for a bit, and heard Hunk ramble on when they realized they had been tuning him out.

“-Anyways, I finished creating my latest masterpiece of space food! I think it will remind you of something you probably sorely missed.” Hunk’s attitude was practically infectious, and Lance immediately brightened up. Pidge was right-he could really make the atmosphere lighter by being in the same room as them. It was a welcome change from the heavy tension from before. Lance’s head was filling with thousands of ideas about a food he sorely missed. And one option reminded him instantly of home.

“...Food? That isn’t food goo? Hunk, you’re a lifesaver!” He exclaims, and jumps up from the bed, and Pidge quickly follows suit. Hunk could tell that there was a tiny bit of thanks in Lance’s voice. He knew just how much it meant to him. Plus, anything but food goo was pretty much godsend. After months of eating nothing but green slop, the paladins got tired of it really quickly. Even Allura, the spitting image of patience, failed to like the taste after so long. Of course, Hunk was better than the average chef and easily could create something off the top of his head that wasn’t food goo. Even with completely foreign alien ingredients, he made food taste like home. It only ever happened when they were able to take some ingredients back to the ship, though. It was like a mini-celebration whenever Hunk made an earth-based food. An idea popped into Pidge’s head.

“We already had dinner but...I hope you don’t mind if I steal whatever Hunk just made, Lance!” The grin that stretched across Pidge’s face was a dangerous one. It threatened to snatch the food from whoever stood in their way. “First one to the kitchen gets first taste!” And then they bolted. Lance stumbles out of the bed, and ran like he was in a horror movie. Hunk just stood there in the doorway, blinking. He was dumbfounded. They left so quickly he didn’t even get to tell them what he made! A laugh escapes his lips.  _ Those guys...I couldn’t exchange them for the world. Not even the entire universe.  _ And then he thinks about the missing day...he wishes he could remember it. Maybe it wasn’t pleasant, maybe it wasn’t helpful in the least, but maybe it was. Lance was his best friend for years, always having his back despite his...energetic attitude. Hunk knew, more than anyone else, that Lance was more than just shallow flirting and overflowing confidence. He was a boy from Cuba who loves his family and would climb out of hell to protect the ones he loved. It didn’t matter to Lance if he got hurt in the process. And that made Hunk want to support him even more. He wasn’t always calm, and often let his emotions get the better of him. But after years of dealing with emotions he knew how to deal with them. No matter how long it took, Hunk would deal with Lance’s emotions. No, he wasn’t a therapist or a psychiatrist...but he was a friend. He just hoped it was enough.

Carefree laughter bounced off the walls of the castle. “W-what?! No fair, you got a head start!” Lance spluttered, face red. He scrambles in the hallway, trying to catch up to Pidge. While Pidge was the shortest, they sure were quick on their feet. Soon enough, Lance’s long legs were just on Pidge’s heels. “You’re way too short to ever surpass my natural speed!” He winks, and uses an extra burst of speed to open the kitchen doors. 

“-And you’re telling me I should speak to...Lance?” Lance slammed open the kitchen doors, attempting to catch his breath. He finds Allura, Shiro, and Keith chatting, and also eating whatever Hunk had made. Which was an exact replica of his mama’s cooking. Homemade curry. “What are you doing here?” Allura tilts her head, completely oblivious to the fact they were eating Hunk’s surprise. Pidge shoves Lance out of the doorway before staring at the scene in front of them. 

“Nooo, not the curry…” He slid to the ground, groaning. Pidge looks like they were on the brink of tears. “Is...is there any curry left?” The entire room is silent before Allura speaks up.

“Is that what this is called? It’s very spicy, but I do believe there’s more on the counter over there.” Lance’s eyes lit up, sprinted to the counter, and grabbed the last plate of curry. Pidge tried to get it before Lance, but they had reacted far too late. The curry was lost now.

“Lance, you ass, I’ll fight you for that curry!” Pidge jumps as high as they could, trying to snatch the plate out of his hands. In reality, Pidge was just happy that Lance could still joke around, like last week wasn’t absolute hell for him. Then again, Pidge wouldn’t mind getting some curry either. Earth food was more than a delicacy in space, it was sanctuary. Being able to taste curry would just be a bonus in Pidge’s eyes to their plan to make Lance laugh. An honest to god chuckle is heard, and Shiro’s just laughing. Soon enough, everyone in the room laughing. Allura tried to hide her laughter, but the scene was just too ridiculous to be taken seriously. When Hunk enters the kitchen, finally gathering enough energy to arrive, he couldn’t help but laugh too. It was nice. The built up stress of telling everyone was, well, stressful. Fighting for curry just happened to be the icebreaker of the situation. Pidge considered this a job well done. They wiped the tears from their eyes, before Allura interrupts the comfortable silence.

“I hate to ruin to the moment, but I was just informed to talk to you, Lance.” Her voice is laden with worry, almost like a mom would. Lance stiffens. He shot Keith and Shiro an unasked question:  _ Did you tell her?  _ Because if they did, it wasn’t their place to tell her. It was Lance’s choice to talk about his problems, and it’s not like his life was currently in danger. It wasn’t justified.

“I think we should call a meeting, Allura. Where is Coran?” Speak of the devil, Coran waltzed right into the kitchen. At the very least, everyone was there for the upcoming meeting.

“Oh, looks like I just walked myself into something real serious, I see! I’ll just head on back out-” Coran coughs nervously, before Allura places her hand on his shoulder.

“No, Coran, this is perfect timing. We’ll all head to the main room and discuss our plan of action there.” Her tone was final, and they all shuffled out into the hallway. However, there was one thought Lance couldn’t stop thinking after what Allura said.  _ Plan of action.  _ This ‘plan of action’ obviously concerned Lance. And it definitely had to do with the missing day. They don’t even remember being hurt as badly as they were. He was going to be pissed if Keith or Shiro told Allura everything. Moments of comfort be damned, if they didn’t respect him enough to let Lance tell Allura and Coran by himself he was going to be  _ mad.  _ Lance wasn’t used to being in a position that focused on him so heavily. He was the center of attention nearly all of the time but never about..never about his emotions. Then again, when was the last time Lance was tortured and captured by the enemy? As they all continued to the meeting room, he snickered at his morbid joke. His paranoia and visions aside, Lance was  _ fine.  _ There were possible moments of insecurity, but for the most part? Fine. No further action needed. Yep. But no amount of fake confidence could shake off his thoughts about their  _ plan of action.  _ Yes, Lance wanted to get revenge but also never wanted to face the general again. Then again, what if his team thought he was weak for not wanting to see that stupid general? Finally, they all arrived to the main room they used for meetings. 

“I’ve been informed,” A short glance at Keith and Shiro, who both made a point to look indifferent, “To talk to you Lance. All I know is that is has to do with the temporary gap of memory we’ve all seemed to have. Expect you.” Her eyes were so accusatory, Lance couldn’t help but gulp. Coran looked on with curiosity, thinking hard about Lance’s behavior lately. He knew something was wrong, especially with the way he helped Coran more often than not recently. He couldn’t figure it out, and Lance was usually very open with Coran. So he did what he usually did. He stood and observed.

The next words would come to shock to both Coran and Allura. “Are you familiar with the name Gidra?” Pidge tried to look uninterested in the subject, trying to seem as if they hadn’t heard the name before. Once the word was heard though, Coran walked right up to Allura and hugged her. It was the spitting image of a father hugging his daughter. Everyone waited patiently for an explanation. They didn’t need to wait long, though.

“I...yes. Gidra was a ruthless Major General. He wasn’t particularly kind to his opponents. Are you suggesting that..he showed up? During the memory gap?” Her words were only whispered throughout the room, and Coran patted Allura on the back once she realized her words were shaky. Lance explained. He didn’t go into too much detail about what Gidra did in particular, but rather what the place looked like and the possible passages of times. “This is why we needed a plan of action. I would like to apologize for not being aware of what happened. I should’ve been able to detect something was wrong when we all woke up like nothing had happened. I should’ve been able to figure out the magic involved. It was strangely familiar if I wasn’t able to recognize it. I will do everything in my power to find out what happened and take proper action.” Her voice was so confident yet guilt-ridden. It seemed impossible to pull off, but she had done it. Their first step was to return to the planet from before. Allura pulled the coordinates from the ship’s log which recorded all the previous areas the castle has been to. Obviously, the only way to access this information was to be one of the confirmed admins of the ship, so it was pretty hard to crack into. Pidge even helped strengthen its security, and often opted for writing the coordinates out in real life so that if the information was truly compromised they still had a physical copy of it. As they flew back to the planet, Lance struggled to keep his focus. It was too dizzying to be reminded of the previous events. It’s been so long but there was still evidence of the Galra’s arrival here. They prepared to dock. 

“Guys, I’m going to walk around the castle. I understand if you’re all worried and stuff but...I just need some time alone.” He was greeted with various hesitant faces, and a couple of objections. But Shiro looked at Lance with consideration, and nodded. 

“I understand. It must be a little suffocating. Go ahead.” Everyone had shock plastered over their faces, but Lance’s was only filled with gratitude for Shiro’s understanding nature. It had been a rough week for everyone, and constantly talking about what happened was more than a little draining. He took a small trip around the ship, walking by the bigger windows out into the galaxy. It was so vast and full of life yet...lonely. He couldn’t help the sorrow-filled expression to take over his face. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for space. It was too much to deal with. He wasn’t even legally an adult yet but he’s seen and done more than many have in their lifetimes. He’s truly on the adventure for a lifetime. But it was terrifying. He wasn’t as good as everyone else on his team who just always had it together no matter what happened. Especially Shiro. He’s probably been through more than Lance ever has. He couldn’t believe that he was still wallowing in self pity after all these days. Maybe he’d-

Suddenly, the alarm went off. Lance didn’t know what to do. He was alone.

The beautiful view he’d been staring at moments ago had a large crack. A large shadow was seen at the window.

And then it broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry. :) Thanks for the overwhelming amount of support, you guys. I really just expected this fanfiction to be mostly a oneshot that wouldn’t do well. I was expecting it to be something I wrote that I liked, and if someone were to comment or notice it that would be enough. But you guys have given so much more than that. Thank you guys so so so much. Every kudos or comment makes my heart soar. I'm gonna cry, you dorks. You’re all amazing.


	5. The Ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Purple is an ugly color, and blue has never looked better.

Everything was blurry and dark. Dark, cold, and unfamiliar. It chilled him to the bone, it’s sharp coldness cutting into his body. The ground was hard and his limbs were crammed together. They kept jutting into each other, making him more than uncomfortable. His hands were tied together, and so were his feet. There was no freedom or dignity being captured like that. Everything ached and nothing felt right. No, not at all. Finally, Lance opened his eyes. He was greeted with the sight of purple lights, purple decals, purple...Galra. Flashes of the last time he was captured flitted in and out of his vision.  _ No, no don’t think about that. _ He attempts to focus on the last thing that happened before he was...here. The only thing he remembers is the shattering of the window and screaming. So much screaming. In an attempt to survey the room, Lance could feel the dried blood on his head tug at his hair.  _ Dried...blood? Dried?  _ Thoughts swirled around his head. How much time had passed? _ When was he taken? Are they going to look for him? Will he escape? Was he a burden? Did he deserve this? _ It was overwhelming, as his thoughts soon turned to pain. There was a pounding in his head that was like an annoying pest. It wouldn’t go away. Lance silently prayed it wasn’t a concussion. How could he be a sharpshooter with a shitty head and a useless body? Not to mention he’s now trapped. Captured. Taken. Ripped away from his team, and ripped away from the only family he had in space. That thought on it’s own was a headache. Millions of miles away from home. Hell, there wasn’t even a way to tell day from night. How long has it been since he’s left his  _ family _ ? How long has it been since his family saw  _ him _ ? Maybe years later he’d find some closure. But right now, he’s stuck in a Galra ship and who-knows-where in space. Lance curls up. You know,  _ space _ , the thing that’s  _ infinitely _ huge? The one where there’s still thousands of areas unexplored and hidden? Space, the place Lance has been dreaming about forever. Suddenly, his head slams into the cold, dirty floor, dragging him out of his thoughts.

“Come with me.” A Galra soldier gripped Lance’s head in a tight hold. With a sharp tug, the soldier forces Lance to stand up. Crying out in pain, he tries his hardest to wrestle himself away from the grasp, but it was already too late. His body is being forcefully dragged across the long, desolate hallways. He tried his hardest to memorize the route they had taken, trying to fight through the throbbing pain in his head. “We’re here.” The guard released his hold on Lance’s hair, and Lance was shoved violently to the floor. The guard silently cut off the material binding Lance’s feet together before leaving, and he was stuck with the rest of the guards inside the mysterious room. Said room was decorated in sickening purples, and some questionable stains. Lance didn’t know much about alien biology...but he was almost sure that those dark stains weren’t a good sign. There were scratch marks on the walls, and many cracks around the room. Some looked new, and others looked old, faded away by time. People, or aliens, were here before. And those same people have struggled to leave it. Lance nearly jumped to his feet, but stumbled in doing so. In an attempt to steady himself, another guard grabbed his arm. Once more, his freedom was taken away from him. At the very least, this guard didn’t speak. They simply brought him to a chair. _ Wait, a chair? What on earth would they use that for? Unless.. _ .A shiver of fear ran through him. He gulped. Faded images of the missing week flashed before his eyes. He felt dizzy with fear. There was only so much someone could do in a dark room with, mostly likely, bloodstains, scratch marks, and a chair. They were going to interrogate him. Torture him. It didn’t matter what it was going to be about. He was going to go through hell. But that didn’t mean he’d give up so easily. It was a mistake to unbind his feet. Even though his hands were still bound together, that was something Lance could deal with later. In a flash, Lance slammed his elbow into the guard’s face. They screamed and clutched their face in pain, allowing Lance to escape through the door. He remembered most of the pathway, so maybe he could try and figure out how the layout works in Galran ships? Hope was starting to form in his mind. Maybe he’d have a shot of escaping for once. Maybe he could really do it! 

“Stop right there.” Lance paused before trying to run again. A warning shot was fired near his foot. _ Whoever this guy is...they’re a good shot _ . Nervously, Lance turns around, a cautious look shining in his eyes. The Galran pretty much towered over him, and he took a step back. That caused his opponent to ready their gun. Lance wasn’t sure how he was going to get out of this situation. He considered just running again before another gun was pressed against his back. His head whips around, revealing another soldier. He was caught. He wasn’t going to out run them, not with Mr. Good Shot and the literal ninja Galra behind him. Once again, he’s dragged back into the interrogation room. But this time, there were even rougher than last time. They showed no mercy, and didn’t allow him to move an inch without feeling watched and restricted. There was no way out of this. This was it. He was truly captured. The one chance he had to escape was gone. He wasn’t sure when he could get another chance like this again. Maybe if he was stronger, smarter, more observant...maybe he could’ve escaped. Maybe he wouldn’t even be captured. If he was just fucking strong enough then maybe he wouldn’t feel so shitty about being back in some sick purple ship. He was so weak. All the shades of purple made him feel like he was back there, the missing week. Like he was going to suffer again and again. The cold hard truth told him that he probably would. He struggles for a bit until they force him into the chair. They strap his arms and legs onto it, and the bonds were excessively tight. The two Galran soldiers that caught him quickly departed, and only one more alien entered the room, dressed in sickeningly purple robes. The alien smiled. 

“We finally get to finish off our work.” A knife glints in the alien’s hand.

Pidge looked shaken, tears threatening to spill over, but a mute rage behind their expression. Keith gripped his sword even tighter, a dark look taking over his features, standing at the broken window Lance was at. Hunk seemed sick, looking like he was going to throw up any minute now. Shiro watched his team with concerned eyes, and Allura puts her hand on Shiro’s shoulder.

“We need to talk to them. We need to find Lance. Shiro, you’re their leader. I know there’s a lot of pressure for you right now but...As a leader, you need to stay strong and help your team.” Shiro straightens up, and faces his team. His team. The very same team that he  _ allowed  _ to get hurt like this. If anything, he was going to fix this. He was going to get Lance back, no matter what. 

“Everyone, I know we’re distraught over what happened but we need to think logically. We can’t let our emotions cloud our thoughts. What we need to do is save Lance.” His voice was shaky, but if anyone noticed, they didn’t say a single thing about it. Hunk was the first one to nod yes. His best friend was in peril. He could cry and have a heart attack later. Right now his best friend was his priority. Keith glanced at Hunk before taking a breath. He nods his head, but doesn’t loosen his grip on his sword. Pidge was the first one to break the silence.

“I’m going to check the cameras.” That was Pidge’s way of agreeing. Instead of words, Pidge used actions. Allura joined them, going through the ship’s logs. Eventually, they found a camera stationed at the window. “PAUSE IT!” Everyone nearly jumped out of their skin when Allura yelled, but Pidge did exactly as ordered. Allura looked confident before looking sick to her stomach.

“That attire. The attire that the Galra is wearing is one I’m slightly familiar with. The attire has been modified over the years but...it signifies that the intruder is from area close-by. We need to head out. With a plan.” The team is finally motivated enough, and after extensive searching, found the most likely area Lance would be kept in. They devised a plan to have Keith and Hunk distract the Galrans while Pidge and Shiro infiltrate. Finally, they were ready to get their teammate back.

The alien grins. “Hope that didn’t hurt too much.” Lance, still strapped to the chair, is bleeding heavily. He can only manage to crack one eye open. It’s filled with pure rage.

“Go. Fuck. Yourself.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my inactivity! I'd rather not post my personal life here, but I've finally been able to start writing again! Thank you all for any continued support! <3


	6. Lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue is the color of the calm after the storm.

He spits blood into the alien’s face, and the alien sneers at him with a rage never shown before. “You are nothing. You’re a pitiful human that no-one cares about. Is your team even coming to rescue you? It looks like they aren’t even trying.” Lance can’t help but look down. He knows that he won’t last that much longer, no matter what he wishes to believe. Even as negative thoughts began to swirl around in his head, he shushed them. No. He wasn’t going to give into the enemy like this, and he wasn’t going to give up. He had to believe in his team. They’d get him. They will. They had to... In the middle of his train of thought, Lance catches the alien moving his arm ever so slightly. The alien grins before pulling out a blade from behind their back. Their eyes looked like as if they were the predator and Lance was the prey. It was an intense and unnerving glare, sending a shiver down his spine. Lance stiffens at the movement and braces himself. The sound of a blade whizzing by fills his ears but...the impact he was expecting never came. In fact, the alien wasn’t holding a blade at all. Suddenly, a very familiar sound erupts from the entrance of the interrogation room. It was Keith’s laugh. God, Lance was so happy...he’s never been more glad in his life. Keith had just launched his bayard right into the alien’s blade, knocking it out of the alien’s grasp. Lance, who was quickly losing blood, could only whisper one word before passing out.

“K-Keith?” Keith kicked the alien aside before grabbing his bayard. His eyes held a fire that burned with anger and emotion. The gaze that he wore on his face was twisted with pure, raw, fury. Keith had been away from his full team for so long. He wasn’t going to let some random alien ruin the team he had worked so hard to open up to. Voltron was too precious to him to let them win. His friends were too important to him. With those final thoughts, Keith launched into a full on attack on the Galra. The alien was quickly subdued- they didn’t even have a second to react. Nobody could stop an angry red paladin. Then, Keith rushes over to his fallen friend. All he can hear is his heart thumping in his chest. He noticed the stillness in Lance’s chest.  _ Is...is he breathing?  _ Grabbing Lance’s wrists, he frantically presses his fingers on them, hope diminishing by the second. But, like the miracle Lance was, there was a pulse. Slow, faint, but a pulse nonetheless. He was alive. Lance was alive, even after this shitstorm. He whispers in the comm, breathless. 

“Pidge...Shiro...I did it. Lance is here. Not in good shape...but still alive. Alive. If you can keep the entrances open, that’d be great.” Pidge laughs in the intercom, almost like they couldn’t believe how easy the task was.

“Because that’s so hard, pfft.” A dorky snort. ”We can talk about it later, alright? We...we can cry and shit when we’re home. Safe. And just so you know, Hunk is in the hallway east of you, so pick him up and we’ll be home free. I’m in the control room close to you guys. Shiro’s keeping guard. We’re good though. He totally kicked any assholes near us.” A small ‘language, Pidge’ comes from Shiro, but Pidge snickers in response. The comm  Keith continues down the hallway, holding Lance in his arms, and spots Hunk firing away at a Galran soldier before swinging his weapon behind him to knock out a sneaking soldier from behind. Keith is immediately thankfully that someone like Hunk is on Voltron’s side, before calling out to him. “Hunk, could you help me out here?” The response is a happy little laugh from Hunk as he takes out another soldier. Seriously, the dude’s so strong… Snapping out of his thoughts, Keith continues to drag Lance along as Hunk keeps an eye out for any other guards. They easily navigate the hallway, with some help from Pidge, and met up in the control room. Once Keith entered the control room, everything went still. It felt surreal, that not so long ago Lance had been safe inside the castle ship, completely unharmed. Pidge nearly had to take a double take. Sure, they knew that Lance was in Keith’s arms and injured but not to this extent. Shiro kept a hard look on his face, but it seemed like he was going to crack any second. Lance coughed, startling everyone from their thoughts. 

“M-miss me…?” Lance, even while bearing all this pain, smirked. Everyone laughed, and tears threatened to fall from Lance eyes. He was hugged, smothered, and coddled by everyone at once, a smile gracing his lips. Keith was the first to speak.

“We need to get him back to the Castle ship, and quick. There’s no time.” He sounded almost like a leader, with everyone nodding sharply. Shiro and Hunk kept an eye out, while Pidge checked and rechecked all the cameras. They smiled, and turned to Keith.

“All clear. Now let’s hightail it back to the ship and get out of here!” Pidge smiled wide, happiness radiating from them. Lance was always like a sibling to them, and the fact that they were finally going to have him back...it was enough for them. Keith nodded and lightly squeezed Lance. 

“It’s gonna be okay, buddy. We’re getting you home.” And with that, Keith lifted him up on his back, and team voltron rushed out from the control panel, heading to where they left the extra ship they used to infiltrate. They ran together, Shiro keeping an eye out from behind and Hunk and Pidge leading them to the ship. The ship was thankfully still intact, and Pidge breathed a sigh of relief. 

“We’re going home.” They practically scrambled onto the small ship, and once everyone made it in they relaxed. Keith started to pilot the ship back to the castle, with everyone smiling. Pidge nearly started crying again, before hugging Lance tightly and not letting go for a solid minute. Lance, barely conscious, managed to hug them back, his own tears starting to spill. Keith looked back from piloting, only for a second, staring at Lance. Shiro noticed his look, and nudged him lightly. Keith handed the controls over to Shiro, and made his way over to Lance. A flurry of emotions were flickering across his face. Concern, anger, sadness, worry. He didn’t say a word and just sat next to Lance. Pidge let go of Lance before smiling at Keith, wiping their tears away. He wrapped one arm around the blue paladin, just taking his life in. The movement of his chest, the ragged breathing. Lance looked teary-eyed and sweaty, his body language just screaming ‘tired’. They arrived back at the castle, and Keith continued to silently support him. 

A couple days later, Lance was back to tip-top shape. Lance enters the lounging area of the castle ship, and spots Shiro. The black paladin gave Lance a glance before hugging him. The sudden movement was surprising but not unwelcome. After a second of shock, Lance returned the hug. No words were exchanged but the message was clear as day. Shiro was going to help him through it all when he needed it. Lance couldn’t help but feel that the rest of the team felt the same way. Shiro lets go and shoots Lance another reassuring smile before stepping out of the room. Lance stood alone. The blue paladin couldn’t help but think of what happened before the kidnapping. His team, his family, everyone he’s ever cared about...They would always support him. Before he was kidnapped the team had no trouble getting angry, concerned, supportive...Maybe at the end of this all Lance would end up with a lot more scars than he started off with. And maybe he won’t be the same as he was at the start of the journey. Maybe he won’t heal completely, and maybe he still won’t be perfect no matter how much he tried. But maybe, just maybe...that was enough. Going through space, miles away from home, fighting enemies with thousands of more experience...it wasn’t easy, it wasn’t ever going to be easy. The scars that littered his body, new and old, were painful reminders of thoughts and memories that he wished he would’ve never experienced. But those scars are a reminder of something else altogether- Lance was alive. Damaged, hurt, pained, but alive. The scars were a reminder of the battles fought, fuel for the fire of determination. But he was still scared, still shaken, still not perfect. He wasn’t perfect and never will be. But that didn’t mean people didn’t care about him. He loved his friends like family, flaws and all. And maybe he’ll try to be more confident again, but really confident. A confident that made his friends feel reassured instead of concerned. A confident that made him like himself more, instead of less. Things wouldn’t change within a couple days, maybe not a couple years, but Lance was going to try. He was going to try to talk to his teammates more, reminding himself that they cared, they were there for him, and be confident in them. Scars were painful, permanent reminders, but he also gained a family that was going to be with him much longer. Lance turned to leave the room to rejoin his friends. Greeted with the sight of quiet concern and smiles from the team he loved so dearly, he mentally took a snapshot of the scene in his mind. This was something he would want to remember. Memories of friends that were truly everlasting.

And as he was smiling back at them, Lance felt confident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DKLFJDLK;AJFALDF I TOOK FIVE YEARS TO FINISH THIS OFF I’M SO SORRY!!! BUT I’VE FINALLY GOT THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE AGAIN EVEN THOUGH I’M SUPER BUSY!!! Uhhh, I really hope the ending didn’t disappoint!! It was difficult for me to write it. I hope you enjoyed my silly little story, and thank you so much for the support even when I had been absent. This is actually...the second multi chapter fanfiction I ever finished! It’s been a wonderful time seeing you guys read it. Thank you so much. I hope the rest of your day goes well!!! <3


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